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I shouldn’t imagine things that are never going to happen.
I shouldn’t imagine things that are never going to happen.
I shouldn’t imagine things that are never going to happen.
Even though I wish that these things will come true

Heart hurts. No one cares.
Want to give love. Everyone rejects it.
I'll never get what I want. I want to fucking die already. KILL ME

I definitely feel obligated to text N more now. But I don’t know what qwq

Maybe it’s better if I don’t get what I want. I don’t even know how a relationship works, I would fuck it up anyway. Seems like I am just not supposed to have a relationship.

Everything is really going downhill now…
And it’s all my fault

I shouldn’t exist. Not even my body is right. And obviously always develop feelings for the wrong people, those who I can never really be with. But hey, who cares. Exactly, nobody

i am such a greedy asshole. Makes sense I never had success yet

I want all of N. But of course that’s not possible. So the least I wish for is that they give me the most of all. (Yes i know that’s very egoistic, and also impossible)

Why does it have to be this way?
why couldn’t I fall for N in a situation where I can actually get what I want?
why can’t I fall for someone who gives me what I want (yes that’s really egoistic I know)?

why do they have to be so friggin attractive and nice and soft and comfy qwq

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It is really difficult to accept that they will never be mine. That’ll never be N’s most important person. Why am so unlucky and fall for N?

they are just awesome. I really like being with them. I wanna spend as much time as possible with them ☺️
@FrohenLeid now I used the right pronouns :)

Letztendlich bin ich das Problem. Die anderen haben ja offensichtlich nicht allzu große Probleme mit der jetzigen Situation. Nur ich komm damit nicht klar, weil ich ein gieriger Egoist bin

it’s so sad to think that I will never get what I want. I am so close, yet so far. It really hurts
Of course that’s very egoistic. But I can’t imagine myself with anyone else

She is just perfect. I don’t know how I am supposed to not fall for her. That’s impossible

I am only staying alive for her. Nothing else is keeping me here.

It unnerves me so much that it is always bright outside. When I go to bed, it’s bright. When I wake up, then sun is shining again. I want some darkness please, at least in the mornings

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